In my last Post no. 4, I mentioned that on 2 Sept 2013, I went back to see my neurosurgeon Dr W to wait for his opinion of my MRI scan result. To me the most important words he spoke was that he recommends NO OPERATION for me as the risk of complication is too high... For this type of brain operation, complication means paralyses, coma or death. !!
I gave a big sigh of relief on hearing he recommended NO surgery. This uplifted my spirit and helps me to bear the problems. . But the problems are still there.. As if to remind me of this, I was given a "warning shot" the same evening. .. After my shower, I went as usual to step on my electronic weighing scale. To see my weight accurately, I had to remove my hands from any support... I then lost my balance and fell on the floor. .. My right buttock is now painful. .. . I may have cracked my right pelvis bone.... Luckily there is no pain elsewhere, not near the hip joint. ..
This warning reminds me I still have to be very careful. ... The tumor symptom damages are still there, and are expected to gradually worsen.. .. This warning also reminds me I still have to rained continue looking for another caregiver, perhaps trained one, to assist my Philippine domestic helper V.
It is hard to describe my mood after this visit to see Dr W. On the one hand I feel very relieved I have expert advice I should NOT go for a brain operation. This cleared off the fear of a big unknown that keeps bothering me.
On the other hand, I do not feel happy. My previous tumor symptoms are still troubling me, and are expected to gradually get worse.
There is one matter I still cannot resolve, and it is troubling me.. My hard-working Philippine helper V is already overstretched with my house-work including marketing. I tried to get a female live-in trained caregiver from the Philippines to help her and have this arranged through my usual work-pass agent P... But for some reasons this did not work out.
My helper V has in recent years financially paid for, half on loan from me, the 6-month caregiver training of her two nephews J and M in the Philippines. She then got them accepted to work in two different nursing homes here. When their nursing home duty schedules give them whole day off without other official activities, they would come to my house to assist their aunt V to look after me. ..One day J and M happened to be both at my place. It is nice of them to tell me together, that with the above day-off arrangement, unless and until there is a big deterioration in my conditions, there is no need for me to look for a full-time caregiver. I thank them for their concern and I tend to agree with them. Unfortunately this J and M arrangement cannot last too long. I got very unhappy with M for his dishonesty with my money and asked him not to come to my house anymore.
Ha ! I don't know why, in recent days, I can bear some of these unbearable tumor symptoms. In the day time my left leg can now bear being exposed in the day time except when I go to sleep with the air-con on. Perhaps being in good spirit has to do with this, Is this something to do with mind over matter ?
But I still have to be very careful. Just last night when I am upstairs and going to take a bath. My hand missed a grip bar, I fell on the floor and couldn't get up. I had to call my helper to slowly pull me up. Luckily this time there were no injury. And luckily I had not started taking off my clothes. Not being a trained caregiver, she would be too shy. :-).
Still for me, life goes on, easy or difficult. This is a modified version of my motto since 1999.
As I live in a two storey house, I am always extremely careful whenever going up or down the staircase. This is why there has not been any fall or even close-shave situations. But when talking about this matter to one of my good friends, she would offer suggestions converting my extra downstairs areas into my bedroom.and bathroom. And being extra confident she has a good idea, she would insist I follow her idea. She is a strong willed person. In the end, I just say. I'll think about it.
Why I didn't follow her idea? I do not rule it out entirely. Some new ideas from another person may be good and innovative. But nearly all the time they are not. On the other hand I do think about my problems from most angles all the time. This is why !
Last few days I had my 73th birthday. My good friends and relatives who had not seen me for sometime would try to book a time to take me out to cut a birthday cake. I feel bad to be a spoil sport and had be very selective. It is like a hospital limiting the number of visitors seeing a patient at a time !
Perhaps due to my better mood since 2 Sept, I feel that my symptoms has not worsen, In some cases it has improved. I did make adjustments to my live style and daily behaviour to prevent the bad effects of the symptom damages. For instance I now sit nearly all the time on the small wheelchair in my house downstairs. This is for safety. But on this wheelchair, I can be mobile around the house propelling myself with my legs on the ground. This means I can sit and move around my round dining table. On this table, I eat and drink, I work on my laptop and collect my printer output. ..Next to this dining table is a single seater sofa for watching TV. Ha ! .
I had my birthday a few days ago. Many friend or/relatives asked to drive me out or come and visit me. Although I feel bad to turn some of them down, but in my poor condition, I had to be selective over when, where and how many. .. In the end I had a few birthday cakes. ..There is something funny here. .. When blowing birthday candles. More than once I blow in the wrong direction and cannot blow off all the burning candles in one breath. Why ? That my two eyes looking in different directions confused me. LOL !. ...
Talking about something funny, here is another one. I cannot smell at all... But this incident is n. After passing motion, I sometimes just walk away after washing my hand and forgot to flush the W C. As my other activities are down stairs, the stools were left floating on the water releasing foul smell. LOL !
Relating to passing motion, as I mentioned previously, to make this easier, I have to take a very sweet syrup medication every morning. ..Although nursing homes also serve this regularly to their residents, I have to check and satisfy myself by that there are normally no, or very mild side effects. How ? I search through Google and Wikipedia.
Life goes on,easy or difficult. [ Last update, 8/10/13]
