Ooh ! I had a bad fall last night after taking my shower. It was outside the shower booth. After I dried myself. I need both hands to powder myself which mean I have no hand to hold on to a grip bar. In that split second I fell backward and sat onto the floor hurting my buttocks. Fortunately I didn't bump my head. But my legs were so weak and the floor so slippery that I couldn't get up. I didn't call my domestic maid to pull me up as I was all naked ! Finally after much effort, I got myself up.
After that whenever I sleep, my lower back was painful even when I lie straight in bed. The worse was that more than once each night, I have the urgent urge to pass urine due to my urinary incontinence. I just have to bear the extreme pain and swing myself up to walk across to the toilet to do it..
My own well-established method of acupressure for relieving and killing pains does not work any more.
Very early next morning, 7 Nov, as my conditions had became really unbearable. I emailed my old friend who is a retired anesthesiast to make,on my behalf, an appointment for a brain operation at NNI.
She made the appointment and took me to see Dr Ng, the Head of Neurosurgery there. After seeing my very recent MRI and discussing with me, he decided to do the surgery himself on Mon 25 Nov.
But because a brain operation has a risk of death or coma, I have been asked by relatives to sign an LPA or Lasting Power of Attorney to protect my financial assets. I have to engage a lawyer as the document is quite complex. It has now been done and submitted.
Tomorrow, 23 Nov, a friend is going to drive me for my 2 pm Admission to NNI for the pre-operation procedures. I think this involves complete or partial shaving of my hair, and testing my blood type.
The nursing manger said my hospital stay will normally be one week. In the meantime I have to plan changes at home. I will likely purchase and place downstairs a motorised hospital bed that can bend up my back at my waist. I'll be using the toilet/shower-room downstairs currently used by my maid. As I have to make changes there I quickly ask my usual renovation workman to come and tell him the changes that I want like adding and adjusting the position of my hand-hold bars. My maid will then use the extra toilet/shower-room upstairs. All these seems like a military operation. With all these ready and in place, I just have to relax and wait. After all, one can never predict the outcome of a major operation.
Unfortunately there is another problem. My urine incontinence is bothering me not only at night. I have to wear the pamper pad even in the day time.
Probably during the Admission and the actual Surgery, I also have to wear it. Sigh, this is life !
[To be continued, latest update 22 Nov 2013]
Friday, 15 November 2013
Saturday, 26 October 2013
6. Cultivating Good-Will
I have been feeling a bit low in spirit recently. I'm not in the mood to care about any thing that is good or bad. This is a bad mood for me, close to having a depression. I must knock myself out of this. But how ? I have to consciously think about something I like, some happy events instead of thinking about my bad mood. This does work !
Near the end of October, I decided to do health screening tests at the NUH, a good government hospital not too far from my home. I have been doing these tests regularly since my retirement in 2000. I am glad the results I get are generally good. Recently they are very good !. This mean that I have been able to maintain a clean bill of health in spite of my old age of 73 !
This also mean my troublesome problems are all to do with symptoms from my brain tumor. They have nothing to do with my health.!
Not related to my tough life, I have continued the good practice of my late wife to financially helping her relatives when they need help. None of my own relatives are in Singapore but nearly all my in-laws are here. Now with my financial help, I have established much good-will among them. I continued to keep in touch with them especially when I need physical help from them.
I'll mention two significant examples of how I helped my in-laws here. One example is to do with the busy nursing home management staff L who has personally helped to lend and to bring to me walking aids, wheelchairs and exercise equipment. To show my gratitude, when the authorities consider I am in too poor a condition to drive any more, I sell her at very low price my 7 seater car.
The other example is my niece-in-law T. When years ago I went into writing and self-publishing three books about my life, she very kindly helped me with proof editing and coordination with the typesetter. When recently she and her family had to move out of her parent's apartment, I helped her partially with gift and partially with zero interest loan to buy a condominium apartment near her by now widowed father as well as near me.
I'll mention two significant examples of how I helped my in-laws here. One example is to do with the busy nursing home management staff L who has personally helped to lend and to bring to me walking aids, wheelchairs and exercise equipment. To show my gratitude, when the authorities consider I am in too poor a condition to drive any more, I sell her at very low price my 7 seater car.
The other example is my niece-in-law T. When years ago I went into writing and self-publishing three books about my life, she very kindly helped me with proof editing and coordination with the typesetter. When recently she and her family had to move out of her parent's apartment, I helped her partially with gift and partially with zero interest loan to buy a condominium apartment near her by now widowed father as well as near me.
Recently I have extended this generous habit to the young relative of my Philippine helper when their fathers cannot support their studies for degrees or diploma qualifications in Colleges or Universities. I am happy to financially support them as my helper keep on monitoring their progress by phone to make sure they study hard and study well. Without paper qualifications, they can only get very low paid work in the Philippines.
I have also extended my gifts and donations to the Unversity NTU from where I retired. This is even though NTU is considered as very rich among local and international university circles. I would not talk further into this matter as this has been elaborated further in my other blog called "Me and NTU after my retirement."
Near the end of October, I decided to do health screening tests at the NUH, a good government hospital not too far from my home. I have been doing these tests regularly since my retirement in 2000. I am glad the results I get are generally good. Recently they are very good !. This mean that I have been able to maintain a clean bill of health in spite of my old age of 73 !
This also mean my troublesome problems are all to do with symptoms from my brain tumor. They have nothing to do with my health.!
Sunday, 8 September 2013
5. Life has to goes on, Easy or Difficult
In my last Post no. 4, I mentioned that on 2 Sept 2013, I went back to see my neurosurgeon Dr W to wait for his opinion of my MRI scan result. To me the most important words he spoke was that he recommends NO OPERATION for me as the risk of complication is too high... For this type of brain operation, complication means paralyses, coma or death. !!
I gave a big sigh of relief on hearing he recommended NO surgery. This uplifted my spirit and helps me to bear the problems. . But the problems are still there.. As if to remind me of this, I was given a "warning shot" the same evening. .. After my shower, I went as usual to step on my electronic weighing scale. To see my weight accurately, I had to remove my hands from any support... I then lost my balance and fell on the floor. .. My right buttock is now painful. .. . I may have cracked my right pelvis bone.... Luckily there is no pain elsewhere, not near the hip joint. ..
This warning reminds me I still have to be very careful. ... The tumor symptom damages are still there, and are expected to gradually worsen.. .. This warning also reminds me I still have to rained continue looking for another caregiver, perhaps trained one, to assist my Philippine domestic helper V.
It is hard to describe my mood after this visit to see Dr W. On the one hand I feel very relieved I have expert advice I should NOT go for a brain operation. This cleared off the fear of a big unknown that keeps bothering me.
On the other hand, I do not feel happy. My previous tumor symptoms are still troubling me, and are expected to gradually get worse.
There is one matter I still cannot resolve, and it is troubling me.. My hard-working Philippine helper V is already overstretched with my house-work including marketing. I tried to get a female live-in trained caregiver from the Philippines to help her and have this arranged through my usual work-pass agent P... But for some reasons this did not work out.
My helper V has in recent years financially paid for, half on loan from me, the 6-month caregiver training of her two nephews J and M in the Philippines. She then got them accepted to work in two different nursing homes here. When their nursing home duty schedules give them whole day off without other official activities, they would come to my house to assist their aunt V to look after me. ..One day J and M happened to be both at my place. It is nice of them to tell me together, that with the above day-off arrangement, unless and until there is a big deterioration in my conditions, there is no need for me to look for a full-time caregiver. I thank them for their concern and I tend to agree with them. Unfortunately this J and M arrangement cannot last too long. I got very unhappy with M for his dishonesty with my money and asked him not to come to my house anymore.
Ha ! I don't know why, in recent days, I can bear some of these unbearable tumor symptoms. In the day time my left leg can now bear being exposed in the day time except when I go to sleep with the air-con on. Perhaps being in good spirit has to do with this, Is this something to do with mind over matter ?
But I still have to be very careful. Just last night when I am upstairs and going to take a bath. My hand missed a grip bar, I fell on the floor and couldn't get up. I had to call my helper to slowly pull me up. Luckily this time there were no injury. And luckily I had not started taking off my clothes. Not being a trained caregiver, she would be too shy. :-).
Still for me, life goes on, easy or difficult. This is a modified version of my motto since 1999.
As I live in a two storey house, I am always extremely careful whenever going up or down the staircase. This is why there has not been any fall or even close-shave situations. But when talking about this matter to one of my good friends, she would offer suggestions converting my extra downstairs areas into my bedroom.and bathroom. And being extra confident she has a good idea, she would insist I follow her idea. She is a strong willed person. In the end, I just say. I'll think about it.
Why I didn't follow her idea? I do not rule it out entirely. Some new ideas from another person may be good and innovative. But nearly all the time they are not. On the other hand I do think about my problems from most angles all the time. This is why !
Last few days I had my 73th birthday. My good friends and relatives who had not seen me for sometime would try to book a time to take me out to cut a birthday cake. I feel bad to be a spoil sport and had be very selective. It is like a hospital limiting the number of visitors seeing a patient at a time !
Perhaps due to my better mood since 2 Sept, I feel that my symptoms has not worsen, In some cases it has improved. I did make adjustments to my live style and daily behaviour to prevent the bad effects of the symptom damages. For instance I now sit nearly all the time on the small wheelchair in my house downstairs. This is for safety. But on this wheelchair, I can be mobile around the house propelling myself with my legs on the ground. This means I can sit and move around my round dining table. On this table, I eat and drink, I work on my laptop and collect my printer output. ..Next to this dining table is a single seater sofa for watching TV. Ha ! .
I had my birthday a few days ago. Many friend or/relatives asked to drive me out or come and visit me. Although I feel bad to turn some of them down, but in my poor condition, I had to be selective over when, where and how many. .. In the end I had a few birthday cakes. ..There is something funny here. .. When blowing birthday candles. More than once I blow in the wrong direction and cannot blow off all the burning candles in one breath. Why ? That my two eyes looking in different directions confused me. LOL !. ...
Talking about something funny, here is another one. I cannot smell at all... But this incident is n. After passing motion, I sometimes just walk away after washing my hand and forgot to flush the W C. As my other activities are down stairs, the stools were left floating on the water releasing foul smell. LOL !
Relating to passing motion, as I mentioned previously, to make this easier, I have to take a very sweet syrup medication every morning. ..Although nursing homes also serve this regularly to their residents, I have to check and satisfy myself by that there are normally no, or very mild side effects. How ? I search through Google and Wikipedia.
Life goes on,easy or difficult. [ Last update, 8/10/13]
I gave a big sigh of relief on hearing he recommended NO surgery. This uplifted my spirit and helps me to bear the problems. . But the problems are still there.. As if to remind me of this, I was given a "warning shot" the same evening. .. After my shower, I went as usual to step on my electronic weighing scale. To see my weight accurately, I had to remove my hands from any support... I then lost my balance and fell on the floor. .. My right buttock is now painful. .. . I may have cracked my right pelvis bone.... Luckily there is no pain elsewhere, not near the hip joint. ..
This warning reminds me I still have to be very careful. ... The tumor symptom damages are still there, and are expected to gradually worsen.. .. This warning also reminds me I still have to rained continue looking for another caregiver, perhaps trained one, to assist my Philippine domestic helper V.
It is hard to describe my mood after this visit to see Dr W. On the one hand I feel very relieved I have expert advice I should NOT go for a brain operation. This cleared off the fear of a big unknown that keeps bothering me.
On the other hand, I do not feel happy. My previous tumor symptoms are still troubling me, and are expected to gradually get worse.
There is one matter I still cannot resolve, and it is troubling me.. My hard-working Philippine helper V is already overstretched with my house-work including marketing. I tried to get a female live-in trained caregiver from the Philippines to help her and have this arranged through my usual work-pass agent P... But for some reasons this did not work out.
My helper V has in recent years financially paid for, half on loan from me, the 6-month caregiver training of her two nephews J and M in the Philippines. She then got them accepted to work in two different nursing homes here. When their nursing home duty schedules give them whole day off without other official activities, they would come to my house to assist their aunt V to look after me. ..One day J and M happened to be both at my place. It is nice of them to tell me together, that with the above day-off arrangement, unless and until there is a big deterioration in my conditions, there is no need for me to look for a full-time caregiver. I thank them for their concern and I tend to agree with them. Unfortunately this J and M arrangement cannot last too long. I got very unhappy with M for his dishonesty with my money and asked him not to come to my house anymore.
Ha ! I don't know why, in recent days, I can bear some of these unbearable tumor symptoms. In the day time my left leg can now bear being exposed in the day time except when I go to sleep with the air-con on. Perhaps being in good spirit has to do with this, Is this something to do with mind over matter ?
But I still have to be very careful. Just last night when I am upstairs and going to take a bath. My hand missed a grip bar, I fell on the floor and couldn't get up. I had to call my helper to slowly pull me up. Luckily this time there were no injury. And luckily I had not started taking off my clothes. Not being a trained caregiver, she would be too shy. :-).
Still for me, life goes on, easy or difficult. This is a modified version of my motto since 1999.
As I live in a two storey house, I am always extremely careful whenever going up or down the staircase. This is why there has not been any fall or even close-shave situations. But when talking about this matter to one of my good friends, she would offer suggestions converting my extra downstairs areas into my bedroom.and bathroom. And being extra confident she has a good idea, she would insist I follow her idea. She is a strong willed person. In the end, I just say. I'll think about it.
Why I didn't follow her idea? I do not rule it out entirely. Some new ideas from another person may be good and innovative. But nearly all the time they are not. On the other hand I do think about my problems from most angles all the time. This is why !
Last few days I had my 73th birthday. My good friends and relatives who had not seen me for sometime would try to book a time to take me out to cut a birthday cake. I feel bad to be a spoil sport and had be very selective. It is like a hospital limiting the number of visitors seeing a patient at a time !
Perhaps due to my better mood since 2 Sept, I feel that my symptoms has not worsen, In some cases it has improved. I did make adjustments to my live style and daily behaviour to prevent the bad effects of the symptom damages. For instance I now sit nearly all the time on the small wheelchair in my house downstairs. This is for safety. But on this wheelchair, I can be mobile around the house propelling myself with my legs on the ground. This means I can sit and move around my round dining table. On this table, I eat and drink, I work on my laptop and collect my printer output. ..Next to this dining table is a single seater sofa for watching TV. Ha ! .
I had my birthday a few days ago. Many friend or/relatives asked to drive me out or come and visit me. Although I feel bad to turn some of them down, but in my poor condition, I had to be selective over when, where and how many. .. In the end I had a few birthday cakes. ..There is something funny here. .. When blowing birthday candles. More than once I blow in the wrong direction and cannot blow off all the burning candles in one breath. Why ? That my two eyes looking in different directions confused me. LOL !. ...
Talking about something funny, here is another one. I cannot smell at all... But this incident is n. After passing motion, I sometimes just walk away after washing my hand and forgot to flush the W C. As my other activities are down stairs, the stools were left floating on the water releasing foul smell. LOL !
Relating to passing motion, as I mentioned previously, to make this easier, I have to take a very sweet syrup medication every morning. ..Although nursing homes also serve this regularly to their residents, I have to check and satisfy myself by that there are normally no, or very mild side effects. How ? I search through Google and Wikipedia.
Life goes on,easy or difficult. [ Last update, 8/10/13]
Friday, 23 August 2013
4. Life is getting Unbearably Tough in 2013
The walking aids that I mentioned in my last post are only to help me walk around inside my garden.. To go out I need a wheel chair.. My relative L who is in charge in a charity nursing home, very helpfully ordered one for me and asked to have it urgently delivered. As a result I could quickly try it out. And my good friend
C could soon take me for drives around Singapore with the wheelchair collapsed and placed in the car boot. ... To help me do some more exercises at home, this helpful relative L lend me a manual paddle-wheel machine for exercising my legs and my arms. ...But even with this exercise aid, the amount of my exercise is minimal. My bowel movements are getting difficult and sometimes less frequent. ...To get myself out of such constipation, at first I used the anal insertion method I used during my own childhood days. This method is of course rather uncomfortable... Subsequently I asked a nursing homes for the method they use for their residents as these resident nearly all do not have much exercise. ..It uses a sweetened medicine syrup which proved to be a better method. ....
Another problem I faced is worsening very fast... Every two weeks this gets worse. ..This problem has to do with my walking mobility while at home. At first when at home down-stairs I could walk around safely as the floor is level except outside the toilet/bathroom which has to lowered than the rest. Then I notice I have to use a walking stick or cane as I cannot maneuver around low obstacles like floor cushions or low shelves. To help me walk safely, this helpful relative L lends me a walking aid that is like a U-shaped frame with four legs, two on my left, and two on my right. Unfortunately this walking aid makes my walking very slow. My mobility has to slow down very much.....
.. Around this time, I was already thinking about doing a brain surgery which I stubbornly refused to do 15 years ago, although I had my reasons for doing this.at that time... The symptoms then were relatively mild and did not badly affect my lifestyle... As my leg balancing is now getting worse very fast I began to start Google searching and to ask around both locally among friends and in my epidermoid benign tumor Forum ....
. The worst problem from the symptoms that I face so far is when I have to be home-alone for long time periods. Once when I was home-alone upstairs I had to answer the door bell of an important visitor. I had to walk slowly and carefully downstairs to open the front door... By then the visitor had gone away... In general when home alone I had to struggle if I have to work in the kitchen to heat up and and serve my own meal in the dining room as this work typically involves moving and turning left and right, squatting down and standing up while holding something breakable... While these movements are nothing unusual for normal people, they are a struggle for me in my unbalanced leg condition..... This is the last straw,.. I must do something about these worst problems..... The first action I took is to look for and employ a caregiver, in addition to my domestic helper V who is already fully loaded with my household work. ..Caregivers in the Philippines have to be specially trained for six months to look after people with some disability. Ideally this caregiver is also a full time domestic or live-in worker.... My Philippine domestic helper V has arranged to bring over two of her nephews J and M with this special training to work in nursing homes in Singapore... I talked to both of them... For different reasons, both cannot change to work for me... But one of them has a female classmate in his caregiver class who asked to come and work in Singapore... On knowing that he thinks she is good and he is willing to recommend her, I quickly ask my domestic work-permit agent P to arrange to bring her to Singapore .. Unfortunately this arrangement also cannot work out ...
The second action I took is to make an appointment to see a brain surgeon... He is , Dr W, at the large reputable Singapore government training hospital called National Neuroscience Institute (NNI).. I have now seen Dr W. I showed him my 2010 MRI CD and answered a number of his questions... He then proceeded to book for me a new MRI scan... I have now done this scan and I am going to see him again on 2 Sept, 2013 to listen to his opinion of my scan results.. .
Dr W may not be the most suitable surgeon to operate on me. But as NNI is a government training hospital, the are not very competitive among themselves and they do look around and refer to a more suitable colleague specialists. ...
There is one more unbearable problem which MAY NOT be due to symptoms from my brain tumor. I have very bad urinary incontinence. Very often I cannot hold back my urine and wet my shorts or trousers. This is embarrassing. ..What make this worse is that I now have to walk slowly... When I was going to do an MRI scan, I have to stay very still inside the noisy MRI tunnel for half to one hour... During the duration of the scan, to deal with my urinary incontinence, I decided to wear an underwear brief fitted with an absorbent pamper... This was actually not necessary in this case. ..But I still decided to wear this just in case I cannot hold. ....Sigh !
On 2 Sept 2013, I went back to see Dr W to wait for his opinion of my new scan result. To me the most important words he spoke was that he recommends NO OPERATION for me... The risk of complication is too high... For this type of brain operation, complication means paralyses, coma or death. !!
C could soon take me for drives around Singapore with the wheelchair collapsed and placed in the car boot. ... To help me do some more exercises at home, this helpful relative L lend me a manual paddle-wheel machine for exercising my legs and my arms. ...But even with this exercise aid, the amount of my exercise is minimal. My bowel movements are getting difficult and sometimes less frequent. ...To get myself out of such constipation, at first I used the anal insertion method I used during my own childhood days. This method is of course rather uncomfortable... Subsequently I asked a nursing homes for the method they use for their residents as these resident nearly all do not have much exercise. ..It uses a sweetened medicine syrup which proved to be a better method. ....
Another problem I faced is worsening very fast... Every two weeks this gets worse. ..This problem has to do with my walking mobility while at home. At first when at home down-stairs I could walk around safely as the floor is level except outside the toilet/bathroom which has to lowered than the rest. Then I notice I have to use a walking stick or cane as I cannot maneuver around low obstacles like floor cushions or low shelves. To help me walk safely, this helpful relative L lends me a walking aid that is like a U-shaped frame with four legs, two on my left, and two on my right. Unfortunately this walking aid makes my walking very slow. My mobility has to slow down very much.....
.. Around this time, I was already thinking about doing a brain surgery which I stubbornly refused to do 15 years ago, although I had my reasons for doing this.at that time... The symptoms then were relatively mild and did not badly affect my lifestyle... As my leg balancing is now getting worse very fast I began to start Google searching and to ask around both locally among friends and in my epidermoid benign tumor Forum ....
. The worst problem from the symptoms that I face so far is when I have to be home-alone for long time periods. Once when I was home-alone upstairs I had to answer the door bell of an important visitor. I had to walk slowly and carefully downstairs to open the front door... By then the visitor had gone away... In general when home alone I had to struggle if I have to work in the kitchen to heat up and and serve my own meal in the dining room as this work typically involves moving and turning left and right, squatting down and standing up while holding something breakable... While these movements are nothing unusual for normal people, they are a struggle for me in my unbalanced leg condition..... This is the last straw,.. I must do something about these worst problems..... The first action I took is to look for and employ a caregiver, in addition to my domestic helper V who is already fully loaded with my household work. ..Caregivers in the Philippines have to be specially trained for six months to look after people with some disability. Ideally this caregiver is also a full time domestic or live-in worker.... My Philippine domestic helper V has arranged to bring over two of her nephews J and M with this special training to work in nursing homes in Singapore... I talked to both of them... For different reasons, both cannot change to work for me... But one of them has a female classmate in his caregiver class who asked to come and work in Singapore... On knowing that he thinks she is good and he is willing to recommend her, I quickly ask my domestic work-permit agent P to arrange to bring her to Singapore .. Unfortunately this arrangement also cannot work out ...
The second action I took is to make an appointment to see a brain surgeon... He is , Dr W, at the large reputable Singapore government training hospital called National Neuroscience Institute (NNI).. I have now seen Dr W. I showed him my 2010 MRI CD and answered a number of his questions... He then proceeded to book for me a new MRI scan... I have now done this scan and I am going to see him again on 2 Sept, 2013 to listen to his opinion of my scan results.. .
Dr W may not be the most suitable surgeon to operate on me. But as NNI is a government training hospital, the are not very competitive among themselves and they do look around and refer to a more suitable colleague specialists. ...
There is one more unbearable problem which MAY NOT be due to symptoms from my brain tumor. I have very bad urinary incontinence. Very often I cannot hold back my urine and wet my shorts or trousers. This is embarrassing. ..What make this worse is that I now have to walk slowly... When I was going to do an MRI scan, I have to stay very still inside the noisy MRI tunnel for half to one hour... During the duration of the scan, to deal with my urinary incontinence, I decided to wear an underwear brief fitted with an absorbent pamper... This was actually not necessary in this case. ..But I still decided to wear this just in case I cannot hold. ....Sigh !
On 2 Sept 2013, I went back to see Dr W to wait for his opinion of my new scan result. To me the most important words he spoke was that he recommends NO OPERATION for me... The risk of complication is too high... For this type of brain operation, complication means paralyses, coma or death. !!
Saturday, 17 August 2013
3. Forming a Tumor Forum and More Walking Problems in 2012
Soon after my tumor was first diagnosed in 1997, I looked online for other people or their spouses with the same tumor and together formed an online forum for discussions and exchange of personal experience and advice... I did contribute my own research information in the early days... But subsequently I did so only rarely due to my other personal problems.. However, I donated some funds to help this forum become a non-profit organisation. . ..After a number of years, this English language Forum has become established with a good number of active-membership... I myself do get a lot of up-to-date information from this Forum. ...But the active Forum members are mostly from America and some from Europe. There are none from Singapore and neighboring Malaysia and Indonesia. ..Thus the surgeons they recommend are nearly all Americans.
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..
Near the end of 2012, my unsteady walking gait has gone worse. Already I have to use a walking stick, or cane, whenever I go out for walking exercises...
..At that time the government was doing some construction at the pavements or sidewalks near my house. One day while doing my exercise walk, near this construction site, I tripped and fell down... As a result, One of my ribs got cracked. ...After this incident I always get a person to accompany me whenever I go out. . .. At home, I have to be very careful at my staircase and inside my shower booth. ..For my safety, I installed a number of grip bars all along the staircase and in my shower booth... As I notice from initial trial testing that this is a good idea, I added more bars around the house. . ..But these grip bars and walking stick still would not solve my problem if I walk out to enjoy my garden plants and flowers... Later on, at uneven parts of the garden, I have to rely on a walking stick with four short legs near the bottom slightly spread out so that it can stand up on its own.
Near the end of 2012, my unsteady walking gait has gone worse. Already I have to use a walking stick, or cane, whenever I go out for walking exercises...
..At that time the government was doing some construction at the pavements or sidewalks near my house. One day while doing my exercise walk, near this construction site, I tripped and fell down... As a result, One of my ribs got cracked. ...After this incident I always get a person to accompany me whenever I go out. . .. At home, I have to be very careful at my staircase and inside my shower booth. ..For my safety, I installed a number of grip bars all along the staircase and in my shower booth... As I notice from initial trial testing that this is a good idea, I added more bars around the house. . ..But these grip bars and walking stick still would not solve my problem if I walk out to enjoy my garden plants and flowers... Later on, at uneven parts of the garden, I have to rely on a walking stick with four short legs near the bottom slightly spread out so that it can stand up on its own.
Saturday, 10 August 2013
2. Tougher life in 2011
My benign brain tumor, diagnosed as a very rare benign tumor called epidermoid, has been very slow growing since it was first dagnosed in 1997.. By pressing against nerves emerging from the bottom of my my brain, this tumor gives me damaging symptoms that have also been worsening slowly... BUT by 2009, the pace of tumor symptom damages has worsen faster than in previous years.. Until then, the worse of the symptom damages is the inability of my right eyeball to rotate in coordination with the left eyeball to focus on the object in front that I wanted to see.. But by 2010, my right eyeball had stopped rotating left and right.. This means I cannot judge distance as I have lost my bifocal ability.. This is more than a daily inconvenience.. It can be dangerous, say when I walk outdoor on uneven grounds.. If I cannot see a step or any low obstruction in front of me, I can trip and fall. .....
By 2011, a new damaging symptom appeared.. .While sleeping at night, if I expose my left leg leaving it uncovered, it gets painful especially by the next morning.. So of course I make sure I keep it covered.... But gradually my blanket cover has to be thicker.... My leg and knee get painful even if I cover them with a thick blanket. So I had to wear in addition woolen leg warmers and woolen socks.. It is not easy to find these warm items in shops in tropical Singapore unless these shops cater specially to shoppers who go for winter travel.... For the thick blanket, I finally find them under the name 'quilt' in the large international chain store Ikea. ...
One unfortunate accident happened to me while I was looking for woolen leg warmers and socks.. In a very large shopping mall called IMM, I was slowly walking along the aisle and looking up for the unit number of a winter clothing shop.. I didn't notice right in front of me was a siting bench.. I tripped and fell over the bench breaking my right collar bone.. The orthopedic surgeon that I consulted looked first at the X-ray film of my collar-bone break or fracture, then said to me, as this was a clean fracture, the two sides of the break will grow back and link up as one in about six weeks.. In the mean time, he said I only need to avoid carrying heavy bags with my right arm.. And to strengthen my bones, I also need to continue taking one calcium pill a day. ... .
To relieve the pain at my left leg, I tried to massage my left leg and knee.. Years ago, I used to self-teach myself this technique when I tried to relieve the shoulder pains of my late wife D.. The difference this time is that I now apply it on myself. This give me bio-feedback effect making the massage application more effective.. Then when I continued, I notice at certain body locations, relieving the pain is more effective using my finger tips. ... Then I remember sometime ago I have read about the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medical) technique call acupuncture...This technique is related to another technique called acupressure which does not require needles puncturing into the skin and is thus more suitable for self-treatment... Both techniques are based on the same system of body Chi circuit points, also called trigger points. So I read up more about these trigger points and continue to get more practice on myself... From these efforts I make more pain-relief improvements on my leg. ..
By 2011, a new damaging symptom appeared.. .While sleeping at night, if I expose my left leg leaving it uncovered, it gets painful especially by the next morning.. So of course I make sure I keep it covered.... But gradually my blanket cover has to be thicker.... My leg and knee get painful even if I cover them with a thick blanket. So I had to wear in addition woolen leg warmers and woolen socks.. It is not easy to find these warm items in shops in tropical Singapore unless these shops cater specially to shoppers who go for winter travel.... For the thick blanket, I finally find them under the name 'quilt' in the large international chain store Ikea. ...
One unfortunate accident happened to me while I was looking for woolen leg warmers and socks.. In a very large shopping mall called IMM, I was slowly walking along the aisle and looking up for the unit number of a winter clothing shop.. I didn't notice right in front of me was a siting bench.. I tripped and fell over the bench breaking my right collar bone.. The orthopedic surgeon that I consulted looked first at the X-ray film of my collar-bone break or fracture, then said to me, as this was a clean fracture, the two sides of the break will grow back and link up as one in about six weeks.. In the mean time, he said I only need to avoid carrying heavy bags with my right arm.. And to strengthen my bones, I also need to continue taking one calcium pill a day. ... .
To relieve the pain at my left leg, I tried to massage my left leg and knee.. Years ago, I used to self-teach myself this technique when I tried to relieve the shoulder pains of my late wife D.. The difference this time is that I now apply it on myself. This give me bio-feedback effect making the massage application more effective.. Then when I continued, I notice at certain body locations, relieving the pain is more effective using my finger tips. ... Then I remember sometime ago I have read about the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medical) technique call acupuncture...This technique is related to another technique called acupressure which does not require needles puncturing into the skin and is thus more suitable for self-treatment... Both techniques are based on the same system of body Chi circuit points, also called trigger points. So I read up more about these trigger points and continue to get more practice on myself... From these efforts I make more pain-relief improvements on my leg. ..
Friday, 9 August 2013
1. Introduction, and my 2010 Brain Scan
I have mentioned in my last book, sometimes called my 3rd book, with the title "Surviving my Benign Brain Tumor", that I had a tough life living alone in my adopted country Singapore when after a happy and eventful marriage since 1973, my late wife passed away in 1999 leaving no children. To top it all, in 1997, I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor that slowly grows in size causing worsening symptoms. ...
I tried to keep my life in control by keeping to a number of my well-tried practices with my life as listed below. ...
1. For my well being, I continue to stay and eat mostly at home. Home is a two-storied house that is well looked after by the same hard working and trust-worthy Philippine helper V.. ...
2. Mentally, I avoid negative attitudes and continue to keep positive and open attitudes... 3. Health-wise, I continue to try and stay healthy. .. A... by keeping a strong body immune system, sometimes called body resistance, ..B.. to go for self-treatment of health problems .., and C.. to avoid going to doctors and taking prescribed medicine many of which have undesirable side-effects that require more treatments and medicine. ..4.. To avoid myself feeling lonely, I call up relatives, friends and ex-colleagues to go for private lunches. ..5. To take up my free time, I go for creative activities that I enjoy, like A.. seriously learning to do sculptures and oil paintings, ..and B.. taking part in local art exhibitions. ...
But then, after feeling exhausted taking part in two sponsored solo art exhibitions, I changed to do writing and self-publishing books about my life since young... .. My 3rd and last book was published in 2010. ..This blog is intended as a draft for the subsequent 4th book.. .But I changed my mind and am going to leave this as a Blog.
At that time, like a drunken man, I could not walk in a straight line. This problem is to do with my left leg... Also, my left leg is afraid of getting cold. At night it has to be well covered otherwise it gets painful in the morning. I was puzzled. The earlier symptoms of my benign tumor are all on the right-hand side of my face... But these new problem are both on my left leg.... Are they also due to my brain tumor or to something else ? . .. To find out, I consulted my previous brain surgeon Dr C who arranged a brain scan called MRI scan. ... These scans I had not done for ten years... Ten years ago, this surgeon was quite understanding of my conditions and my lifestyle.. But this time he took on a different attitude towards me. ... He was only interested in me saying YES to surgery by him as the surgical team leader. .. .This brain surgeon Dr C was going to use an outdated technique called craniotomy for my tumor that is location at the base of my skull or skull-base. ... But at least I got his reply to what I wanted to ask, that nerves coming out from the brain at the skull-base location do cross over to the other side at the top of the neck spine. . Finally I left his office asking fora copy of my scan CD, saying I would seek a second opinion. . But actually I didn't until years later, see post no. 4.
At that time, like a drunken man, I could not walk in a straight line. This problem is to do with my left leg... Also, my left leg is afraid of getting cold. At night it has to be well covered otherwise it gets painful in the morning. I was puzzled. The earlier symptoms of my benign tumor are all on the right-hand side of my face... But these new problem are both on my left leg.... Are they also due to my brain tumor or to something else ? . .. To find out, I consulted my previous brain surgeon Dr C who arranged a brain scan called MRI scan. ... These scans I had not done for ten years... Ten years ago, this surgeon was quite understanding of my conditions and my lifestyle.. But this time he took on a different attitude towards me. ... He was only interested in me saying YES to surgery by him as the surgical team leader. .. .This brain surgeon Dr C was going to use an outdated technique called craniotomy for my tumor that is location at the base of my skull or skull-base. ... But at least I got his reply to what I wanted to ask, that nerves coming out from the brain at the skull-base location do cross over to the other side at the top of the neck spine. . Finally I left his office asking fora copy of my scan CD, saying I would seek a second opinion. . But actually I didn't until years later, see post no. 4.
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